Suite Talk
by Flslp87
Summary: A canon deleted scene from the episode The Triumvirate to account for the time Lee and Amanda spent in the suite in the Cumberland. Begins when they are arriving at the hotel and takes them through when Francine arrives.
1. Chapter 1

**About 6 weeks ago while rewatching Triumvirate, I wanted more with Amanda and Lee in the hotel suite and went searching for a deleted scene and couldn't really find anything that fit with my thoughts. I say that because there were just some holes that I felt needed to be filled. From why L/A posed as** **brother/sister in FFFT to why did Lee say they would be a 'cute couple' in the tag to why did he say they had a lot to 'talk about' in ATWAS. However, while I have written for the Once fandom, I was new to FF for the SMK fandom and decided to ask a couple of veteran SMK writers to collaborate with me. I was fortunate that** LanieSullivan **and** clagjanet **took a chance joined me in my journey. Both can be found on FF. Thanks, girls, let's do it again. We hope you enjoy.**

 ** _Our scene starts just as Billy and Lee are walking Amanda up the steps to the Cumberland where she is going to be in protective custody._**

 **Chapter 1**

As they climbed the steps to the building that her boss proclaimed to be once grand, Amanda's thoughts were bouncing all over the place. The building, while large, looked abandoned, devoid of life and when they stepped through the door, there was a hush in the air. None of the sounds that one would expect from a grand old building, but the quiet efficiency she had come to expect from Billy Melrose's employees.

"I'm sure it will be fine with me," she exclaimed hurriedly as Lee's credentials were checked, "but I'm worried about my mother and the boys, Sir. I'm going to need a story to get them out of the house tonight." While she had directed her comment to Billy, she couldn't help but send Lee a pleading glance.

"I know it's short notice, Amanda," Billy explained, "but we'd all feel more comfortable with knowing you were in here and Jepard was out there."

She sighed, "Yes, Sir. You're right, Sir." but that didn't solve the problem.

"Come on," Lee cupped her elbow, gently ushering her through security.

"See you later, Sir." Amanda stepped through the metal detector and as if the precariousness of her situation just hit her, she hesitated long enough for Lee to walk right by her. His hand reaching toward her was like a lifeline, pulling her in from floating too far out on that proverbial limb. She reached out to take his hand as they walked to the elevator, and as a calmness came over her, her fear somewhat abated. When he let her hand loose, pushed the button and they stepped through the opening doors, she immediately searched for his hand again because she needed that connection with him. Lee gave her strength and made her feel safe. "My family," she murmured softly, as the elevator whisked them up a few floors. "What am I going to tell my family?"

"A gas line break?" Lee tossed out an idea.

"They aren't going to buy that." Amanda scoffed.

Lee hummed, "A water line?"

"How would that work?" Amanda wanted to know as they stepped off the elevator onto an empty floor.

Lee gave her a crooked smile as he unlocked a door and pushed it open. "After you."

She stepped through the entry way thinking of all the other times Lee had led her into a hotel room like this.

 _I've spent more nights in hotels with Lee in the past two years than I ever did with Joe in ten years of marriage_ she chuckled inwardly.

"Oh, this is lovely!" she exclaimed, looking around. "I see what Billy meant about her being quite a lady in her time - this is real old-time luxury." She walked through the room, trailing her fingers along the back of the sofa and peering into the rooms of the suite.

"Complete with old-time entertainment," said Lee with a wry look holding up a stack of magazines that looked at least ten years out of date. "The celebrity articles are even more antique than the collectibles in this one."

"Two bedrooms," she commented over her shoulder as she continued her tour of the room.

"Ahhh, well, yeah," said Lee, rubbing the back of his neck as if he could erase the flush that was creeping up it. "But we won't be sleeping much."

Amanda twirled slowly on the ball of her foot to look at him. "We won't?" she asked breathlessly.

Lee opened and closed his mouth for a moment like a gasping fish. "Oh! No! I meant _I_ won't be sleeping much. Because I'm here to keep an eye on you, right? So, you can go to sleep if you want to, but I'll be keeping watch."

"Well, it's still pretty early," she said lightly, trying to hide her amusement at his obvious discomfort. "So, I don't think I'll be sleeping any time soon either."

"Oh right," Lee said sheepishly, glancing out the window at the bright sunshine. "I guess not."

"So, we still haven't figured out what we're going to tell my mother," she said. "I really don't think problems with the water line will work because she'd just wonder why none of the neighbors are being moved as well." She moved to perch on the sofa, gripping her hands together in her only show of tension.

"Yeah, that eliminates my gas line idea too," agreed Lee. He settled into a chair nearby and stared at the ceiling. "We haven't had to think up ways to get them out of the house much in all these years - usually we're just trying to keep bad guys from getting in."

"Yeah," Amanda said in a quiet voice. "Except these bad guys are also part of the good guys." She looked up at Lee, the strain showing on her face. "I don't think I've been this worried since I knew there was a nuclear bomb about to go off."

"And that came out okay, didn't it? said Lee, smiling reassuringly. "So, what did you tell your mother that time?"

Amanda gave a weak chuckle. "I told her there was a nuclear bomb about to go off."

Lee straightened up, jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

"Oh, she didn't believe me, of course," Amanda gave a deprecating wave. "She thought I was trying to have the house to myself, so I could have an affair."

Lee grinned. "That might just be the first time you actually said 'affair' and not 'a thing'," he teased her.

There was a loud sound suddenly that he realized was Amanda's stomach growling.

"Sorry," she said, flushing. "I was going to have lunch after I went to the store and with everything that's happened, I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"Well, tell you what. Let's order some room service and we can think up something to tell your mother while we eat."

"Good plan," she replied with a warm smile in his direction.

"Anything in particular you want?" He asked as he picked up the room service menu and handed it to her to look over while he leaned against the back of the sofa.

"Oh, gosh!" she gasped. "On second thought, maybe we should just order a pizza or something. I mean, would you look at these prices! I could feed my whole family dinner on just what one of these meals costs!"

Lee sighed and gave her a bit of a scolding look. "Amanda, the Agency is paying for this, remember?"

"All the more reason we should be a bit more frugal," she reprimanded him with her patented "mom" look. "Do you really think we should be wasting taxpayer dollars on such an expensive meal when it would be so much cheaper to-"

"A-MAN-da!" he cut off the beginning of her ramble before it could build up steam. When she quietly looked up at him, he continued, "Look, I know you live on a budget because you have to, but let's put that logical mind of yours to work, huh? Your _Agency_ paycheck was screwed up, right?"

"Right," she nodded in agreement.

"And it was your _Agency_ computer access clearance that caused you to be stuck here, right?"

"Right!"

"And since they seem to be tracking our every move, we can be pretty sure that someone within the _Agency_ is behind this, right?"

"Well, pretty sure, but not a hundred percent sure. I mean, I know I haven't been at the Agency as long as you have, but I have been there long enough to know that we can never be a hundred percent sure of anyth-" She stopped talking abruptly when she saw the stern, scolding look appear on his face again. "Yes, pretty sure," she completed meekly.

"Okay, then, so if we agree on all of that, then why shouldn't the Agency pay for just this one meal since it's because of your job that you're here?"

"You're right," she finally conceded. "I'll...uh..." She glanced down at the menu again and then said, "Just the cheeseburger and fries."

"That's it?" He questioned. He shot her a teasing grin. "You don't wanna' splurge just a little since it's on the Agency?"

She shook her head.

"This isn't just you being cheap because you feel guilty about spending taxpayer money again, is it?" All teasing gone, he added in a reassuring tone, "Listen, if it makes you feel any better, this whole place is a front, which means these prices..." He tapped the menu she still held. "They're not real. They're only there because sometimes this place is used as a safe house for civilians who aren't aware of what the Agency actually does."

"That may be, but still, someone has to be paying for the food even if these prices aren't real, but anyway, it doesn't really matter because I really just want a cheeseburger and fries." She paused and smiled shyly at him, hoping he'd remember the time they'd talked about normal people and hamburgers. "After all, that time you stayed at my house, we never did get to have our hamburgers, did we?"

He laughed as he reflected on that time and her surprise that he could cook. "No. No, we didn't, so you know what? I think that's what I'll have too."

They exchanged affectionate smiles, but the moment was lost by the sound of Amanda's stomach loudly growling again. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"Don't be sorry. We'd just better get you fed soon."

As he took the menu back from her and dialed, she began looking around the room again and taking in all the little details. It really was a lovely place and it was obviously kept up very well despite it being unoccupied. Her thoughts drifted to her conversation with Lee about wasting taxpayer dollars and couldn't help wondering how much they spent on something like this. She was sure it was a lot because they'd need a groundskeeper to take care of the expansive landscaping, a maintenance man or two to take care of things that needed repair and of course, someone to cook and deliver the room service and she supposed since it was such an old building with a real wood frame, they'd have to have an exterminator come out once in a while to inspect for termites.

"Termites!" she blurted out just as Lee had hung up the phone.

"Termites?" He gave her a confused look, "Here?"

"No, no, not here," she hastened to clear up what she meant. "My house."

Lee's brow furrowed as it often did when he hadn't followed the direction her thoughts had traveled, "Your house has termites?"

Amanda opened her mouth to explain but before she said anything, it was as if a light went off in Lee's head, "Oh, your house. Yes," he nodded his head, "that might work. Just tell them that the house is being treated and they need to leave." He held out the phone, "Do you want to call your mother?"

Amanda started to reach for the phone, "Lee, shouldn't you call Mr. Melrose first? After all, if the neighbors talk..."

"And your mother mentions the termites then we'd have a lot more explaining to do. Do you want me to have Billy arrange for them to stay in a hotel?"

"No," she shook her head, "I'll call Aunt Edna. I'm sure she won't mind the company for one night...at least I hope it's only for one night." Her voice trailed off as once again the situation weighed her down.

"Hey," Lee sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close for a comforting hug, "we're going to get this guy just like we always do."

Amanda relaxed against him, letting his warmth seep into her bones, giving her strength for what was to come. Her family would be taken care of and they _would_ get the guy, but for a few seconds, she needed to lean on him. The tension between her shoulder blades relaxed slightly and reluctantly, she pulled back, smoothing her hands over his shoulders, "Thank you." she whispered wanting to say so much more, but knowing this wasn't the time, settled for a gentle squeeze of his hand.

He gave her that tender smile, that showed just a hint of his dimples, but made her knees weak and her heart race, "Any time." His murmured response wafted across her lips taking her breath and causing her blood to surge through her veins.

The moment was charged but her common sense reared its head and with a little smile she stood up and turned away, so he could call Billy. While he was on the phone, Amanda wandered around the room, peering into cabinets and opening drawers. Most of the ones she peered into were empty, showing no sign of ever being used until she reached a small chest tucked away in a far corner of the room.

"Well, well," Lee appeared at her side, "what went on here? Hmm, there are candles and even some old records. Maybe after dinner tonight, we can make the best of a bad situation, huh?" His voice dropped into that flirty deep register he used when he was trying to coax her into something. "A little candlelight, a little music, a little... cha-cha perhaps?" he went on with a wink.

Amanda stifled a laugh. "I thought you were supposed to be keeping an eye on me to protect me from the bad guys, not dining and dancing on the Agency dime."

"Well, what better way to keep an eye on you than from up close?" he teased. "Come on, we haven't gotten to dance in ages since Billy took me off the Embassy circuit and put me in the Q Bureau." He pulled her into a waltz position and began to twirl her sedately, humming as he went.

For a moment, maybe more than a few, Amanda let herself relax into his arms, giving into that feeling of safety she always felt when he held her. It would be so easy to just stay like this, let her mind go blank, forget everything outside these walls. But then, she shifted her hand and felt her fingers slide over the strap of his holster and the real world came rushing back in. She pulled herself away unwillingly, patting his chest absently as if to apologize.

"Lee," she sighed. "I know you're just… well, you're just trying to cheer me up like you usually do but I don't need to be distracted right now. Right now, I need to call my mother and convince her to leave the house before those men show up there looking for me. Before they…"

"Amanda," he said, waiting for her to tilt her chin up so that she was looking into his eyes. "It's going to be fine. There are already agents outside your house – Billy sent them before we even left the Agency. There are guys at the school keeping an eye on Phillip and Jamie. This isn't our first rodeo on Maplewood Drive, remember?"

"I know," she said, a tiny crack in her voice. "And I know it seems silly, but that man was willing to kill me and everyone in that store today and for all Mother knows, I just went to buy a dress for my reunion just like a normal day and I just need…"

"You need to talk to your mother," he finished her sentence. "Come on." He led her back to the sofa and handed her the phone. "I'll just go in the other room, okay?"

"Thank you, Lee," she replied, eyes bright with emotion.

"No problem," he smiled at her. "But when this is all over, maybe we can go out dancing sometime?"

"I'd like that," she said, softly.

Lee watched her punch in her home phone number and turned away as he'd promised, to give her some privacy. As he stood in the small bedroom, looking out the window his thoughts drifted to how much things had changed since he'd first met Amanda and how he'd tried so hard to shoo her away because he hadn't wanted anyone new in his life, even if it were just a professional relationship, but now- He thought of how his heart had leapt into his throat at the store when he'd seen just how much danger she was in and shuddered at the thought of anything happening to her. He knew now that it was much too late to chase her away and that as hard as he argued against it, they were most definitely involved.

"How the hell did this happen?" he murmured to himself. Against his better judgment, he'd let her in before he'd even known what was happening and while he hadn't shared this part with Amanda, he personally had been the one to make sure that Billy had posted those agents at her house and at the school; in fact, he'd insisted on it. He swallowed hard as he thought of his own childhood without his parents and he wouldn't wish that on any child, so he'd make damn sure Phillip and Jamie never had to experience that kind of pain.

"Who are you kidding," he chided himself, knowing full well that he'd be just as devastated if something happened to her. He cast a glance to the next room where Amanda was still in full-ramble mode with her mother and trying desperately to explain why she and the kids had to get out of the house and shook his head. He turned back toward the window and chuckled softly at the memories. While he'd initially balked at Billy's constant scheming to throw them together and had done everything he could to thwart his well-meaning boss' efforts, he'd come to rely on Amanda - too much sometimes - and that scared him senseless; not because he was still afraid to open his heart to her - he'd figured out months ago after that debacle with Leslie that he was too far gone to turn back now - No, it was more that he was terrified of losing her. Predicaments like the one they were in now just brought that terror to the front of his mind.

He let out a deep sigh as he thought of his own predicament. He loved having Amanda as his partner, but at the same time, he wished he could somehow talk her out of her job at the Agency, only now it wasn't because he didn't want her around as it had been in the beginning; it was because it was just too damned dangerous for her and he couldn't bear the thought of losing yet one more person he loved. _Love?_ an inner voice questioned as he glanced her way again to see that in addition to words, her hand had now entered the conversation emphasizing each syllable she uttered. _Should he help? Could he help?_ When her normally quick way of speaking picked up speed, it didn't matter if he could help, what mattered was for him to be close if she needed him.

Lee dropped the curtain and walked around the bed, thinking about the last time they had stayed in a hotel. Separate rooms with Francine as chaperone and missed moments for them to... what...but how had that ended? Amanda in danger with his getting there just in time to save her. He had almost been too late. _We'll get them_ , he silently promised her as he stepped into the living area.

The tone of her voice as she hung up was so...forlorn sounding, he wanted to leap over the sofa, take her in his arms and just hold her. But as much as he wanted to comfort her that way, she needed him to be at the top of his game, professionally.

Alert.

Aware.

Ready. He could do it, right?

Lee took a deep breath and sat down on the back of the sofa, close to her, but not too close, and gave her hands a reassuring squeeze, "Look, it's going to be alright."

"Is it?" She sighed, her pain causing his heart to twist...just a little.

He tilted his head, giving her a small smile, "Yes." he promised softly, hoping she knew that if needed, he would gladly exchange his life for hers.

"Oh boy," she sighed again, "don't you ever get tired of this?"

He shrugged and quipped, "Comes with the territory."

"No," she interjected, a little more seriousness appearing in her voice, "that's what I mean. Don't you ever get tired of the territory?" Her eyes dropped to a spot in the fabric, unable to even maintain eye contact with him for long.

 _Oh Amanda_ , he thought, _lean on me._ Her soft voice continued, reminding him of how often she missed times in her children's lives and yet, she hadn't grown jaded, hadn't pushed him away but trusted him to be there.

 _"_ Lately, I feel like I can't even make any plans in advance anymore. I missed Phillip's play when he was Rumpelstiltskin. And it looks like I might even miss Jamie's first open house at school."

Lee closed his eyes, trying to think of just the right thing to say to alleviate her fears, "Yeah, I hear you." he finally settled on. "This job has caused me my share of relationships, that's for sure." But he couldn't stop the thought that he would fight for whatever was between him and Amanda and that feeling was new.

Her dark eyes bore into his, almost hypnotizing in their intensity, "Why do you keep on doing it?" she asked softly, making him want to lean closer to make sure he didn't miss anything that was said.

Without thinking, he flippantly replied, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." But almost before it was even out of his mouth realized that response wasn't who he wanted to be for her.

Her dark eyes read him, 'I know what you're doing,' while pleading with him to speak to her as Lee, and not Scarecrow, "Come on, I'm trying to be serious here."

"Well, I guess I am too," he admitted, this time speaking to her from his heart. "It is...a job someone has to do and," her eyes pulled at him, "I happen to do it well. There are parts of it I don't like," _but it brought me you_ , "and parts I like a lot." _Focus, Lee,_ "But what about you?" he brought her back into the conversation. "I mean there are other part-time jobs that pay a lot more than this and are a lot less dangerous."

"I know." She lowered her eyes shyly, "I guess I had some kind of an idea about making the world a safer place for Phillip and Jamie. Probably silly, isn't it?

 _Oh, Amanda,_ his hands itched to reach for he _r_ , "No, no it isn't. And that's why we are stuck with this." His voice died as any further words faded away and the only thought he could focus on was how disheartened Amanda looked right now.

"I guess so." Amanda twisted her hands together and looked away, unable to meet his eyes for a moment. Her heart had dropped a little at his words. _Stuck with this? What does that mean? Stuck here with me?_

Her mind went back to that conversation in the hotel a few weeks ago – a conversation that had started out so promisingly and ended so abruptly when Francine had shown up. What was it she'd said? _"How times have changed, Scarecrow"…_

She glanced over at the open doorway and the bedroom beyond.

 _Well, things have changed, Francine. For one thing, there was a time I'd have been a lot more upset at having to share a hotel room with Lee._

She looked back up at Lee, studying the face that had become so familiar and dear to her over the years. She could see no sign of Scarecrow anymore in those beautiful clear eyes looking back at her. The man who had been a closed book when they met, emotions locked away where no one could find them had turned into her best friend somehow, a man who had begun to willingly accept what she offered with an open heart and who offered her so much more in return. And yet, even now, she knew there were facets of him she'd never seen, that he'd never revealed, still parts of himself he hid with bravado and deflection and jokes. _It's a dirty job…_ He'd been quick to back down just now when he'd realized she was serious, but she wondered if anything would have been different if Francine hadn't walked back into that hotel hallway that night. Maybe he... maybe she… maybe they… She sighed. _Coulda, shoulda, woulda_ she scolded herself

"Amanda?" Lee asked. "Are you okay?"

She realized he was staring at her with concern and that she'd been silently staring back at him for far too long.

"This wasn't the kind of field experience I was hoping for," she said without thinking. His eyes went wide, and she stood up quickly to turn away, immediately embarrassed and not wanting to see his reaction at that unconscious admission.

"Amanda," he said, so softly she almost couldn't hear him. "Amanda," he repeated. "I-"

But whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a sharp rap on the door. She turned, under control now and gave him a bright look.

"Well, I just bet that'll be our dinner," she said cheerfully as she began to make her way to the door but was stopped by Lee's hand on her arm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Wait." He gave her a stern look. While he knew she'd been distracted a moment ago with her talk of 'field experience,' he couldn't let her forget the reason they were there. Her life was in jeopardy. "What if it's not? Let me get it." He shifted his shoulder holster slightly to make sure his pistol was within easy reach if he needed it, while Amanda shuddered at the sight, and he strode purposefully toward the door, peering through the peephole to see a uniform-clad waiter outside. Even then, he still opened the door with caution and did not fully relax again until their food had been delivered and the waiter was back on the other side of the door.

Amanda's tension eased just a little when she saw that Lee's had, but she still couldn't completely shake her anxiety over what had just transpired. Lee had gone from the flirty banter of a potential lover to full-on Scarecrow-the-trained-professional in mere seconds reminding her too harshly of the reason they were alone together in a hotel room and it wasn't for any grand, romantic reason. She nodded toward the room service cart. "Smells good," she commented blandly. As another shudder crept up her spine, she realized that she was trying too hard to shake off the apprehension that had stolen her good mood when Lee had stopped her from opening the door and reached for his holster. How did he do it? How could he just shift moods like that so quickly without giving it a second thought?

"Shall we?" He gave a sweeping gesture toward the cart.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"So, I...uh..." As they shifted chairs around and got settled in to eat, he cleared his throat loudly while he tried to figure out how they could possibly recapture their lost moment. He was sure she'd been making a blatant pass at him, but now she was just frowning. Was it because they'd been interrupted for the umpteenth time or was she worried that she'd said too much? He needed to know what she meant and exactly where he stood with her before attempting to make a move again. He smiled warmly at her. "So, I guess we finally get our normal dinner of hamburgers, huh?" and then in a teasing tone, added, "It only took us two years to get here."

His face fell flat when Amanda just glowered at him and retorted, "I can't do this." before pushing back from the table and disappearing into the bedroom."

Lee frowned at the uncharacteristic behavior he had just witnessed, "She can't do what," he muttered, staring after her. "She can't do this job?" He couldn't imagine her walking away from the Agency, but if not the job, what? Was it him? Was he the one she was walking away from? But that wasn't Amanda either. She was loyal to a fault, fighting for whatever...or whomever she believed in.

When five and then ten minutes passed, and he hadn't heard from her, Lee covered their food once again and went after her. There was much to be said and while this might not be the best place to have an in-depth conversation about where they wanted _them_ to go, surely there were a few things he...and hopefully she, could put out there.

 _Hmmff_ , he thought, _a willingness to talk about feelings?_ He had changed and it was because of Amanda, and...well...that man had a few things to say.

When Amanda had pushed up from the table and rushed out of the front room of their suite, the emotions churning around inside of her had reached a boiling point and what came next, she no longer knew. She usually thrived on the excitement that Lee brought into her life, not only with their quest for the greater good, but for what he brought to Amanda, the woman. _And that_ , she thought, _is the crux of the matter, isn't it?_

There was no question that she was concerned about the safety of her mother and the boys, but was that the only problem? A part of her was scared, but deep down she knew that everything was going to be okay as Lee was always there to save her. Francine had once warned her against believing that Lee would come charging in like some White Knight, but just like many times before, that was exactly what he had done; saved her. What was different about this time?

Her subconscious reminded her of his words when their talk had turned serious earlier, _and that's why we're_ _stuck with this_ , which meant what exactly? Was she that much of a burden to him?

 _No_! She answered her own question, there was something else going on and with the danger she was in, their emotions were intensified. The atmosphere was charged, and she was looking for...

"Amanda," Lee's hands cupped her shoulders, turning her to face him. "What happened in there?"

Slowly, she lifted her head, her dark eyes locking with his hazel ones, "I..." The words died at what she saw looking back at her. His eyes had been one of the first things that drew her to him, mercurial and full of secrets. The closer they had become, the better she was at reading the messages they sent. Sometimes blue, other times golden, and now moss green, swirling with feelings that hadn't been given voice.

"Oh, Amanda," Lee cupped her face, using his thumbs to wipe the wetness from beneath each eye. "Did I cause these?"

Until his warm hands touched her face she hadn't fully been aware that the emotions bottled up inside had spilled over, "It's nothing." She tried to pass it off, but the look he gave her said he wasn't buying it. What should she do? Ask him what he meant by his 'stuck with this' comment, or lie? And if she asked him and he answered, what if she didn't like what he said? _But what if you did?_ herinner self answered.

His hands dropped to her shoulders, gently squeezing the tense muscles and his slightly bent knees allowed him to meet her gaze head on, "Tell me." he implored one more time.

 _I'm going to ask_ , she decided, taking a deep breath, "Lee, when you said we were stuck with this, what did you mean?"

Lee stared at her. "What do you mean what did I mean?" He waved a hand around the room. "I meant this. Stuck in a room instead of being home with your kids. Stuck with room service and armed guards instead of out at a reunion with your friends. Stuck knowing sometimes our regular lives suffer because we have a job to do."

Amanda studied him carefully. "Not… stuck together? Stuck on diaper duty with me when you could be out fighting the bad guys?"

"Amanda!" The astonishment – and the hurt - in his voice couldn't be anything but real. "You can't honestly think that I think of you that way! I haven't said anything like that in months – years almost!"

"That night we were stuck in the swamp," she said doggedly. "You said you were sorry you'd ever picked me out of the crowd at the train station."

"Okay, now wait just a damn minute – I did not say that! Or at least not that way," He held up a hand to stop her interrupting. "I meant I was sorry we were stuck toge-" He stopped, aware that he couldn't un-say anything he'd been about to blurt out.

Amanda nodded as if he'd confirmed something. "And just now, you said you've lost relationships from this," she was whispering now. "You stopped seeing Leslie after I got us in all that trouble with the fishing company." She lifted her eyes to look into his. "Was that because you were worried about involving another civilian in your life? Because one was enough trouble?"

"Oh my God, Amanda, no!" Lee sounded horrified. "No!" He grabbed her hands between his. "I stopped dating her because you were right – she was never going to understand my life. She only saw the fantasy: the travel, the parties, being undercover at resorts… I mean, Leslie would never have understood me showing up at her door stinking of swamp, would she?"

"Or wine?" Amanda let herself smile a little. "She'd like the part where you stormed the White House to save the President though."

"Yes, but you know that's not what it's really like, you know _me_ … Amanda," Lee was in deadly earnest now, trying to make sure she understood. "No matter what I've said in the past, you need to understand: when I said losing relationships is part of the job, I have _never_ wanted to lose what I have with you."

"What do you have with me?" she challenged him.

Lee only hesitated a moment. "I have a partner, and a best friend, and someone I want to dance with in the middle of the afternoon or at an Embassy party. I have champagne and caviar… and cheeseburgers and fries." He chucked her under the chin. "And those are getting cold so… please? Come back and eat."

"You're right," she sighed. "I'm being si-"

"No, you're not," he stopped her. "You're just frazzled from being hungry. Now come on."

As she gave in and followed him back to the table, Lee couldn't help turning back slightly to study her face carefully. He needed to be sure that her mood had indeed improved and she wasn't just humoring him. When she caught him looking and gave him a genuine smile, he couldn't help smiling back. He held out her chair for her before taking his own seat.

 _Good,_ he thought as he uncovered their food once more and they finally settled in to eat. While she'd just interrogated him on his meaning, he had a question or two of his own, but didn't want to ask them if she was still in a sour mood. "Soooo..." he began. "I know this isn't quite what you had in mind when you were talking about having hamburgers being a part of normal life, but-"

"No, it wasn't," she interrupted. "I think you know that I meant staying home and making them rather than going out. I mean, I'm not trying to complain. It's obvious, the Agency has done everything they can here to make things as comfortable as possible, but it's..." She let out a deep sigh and continued, "It's just not the same."

"I know, and I-" He swallowed hard as he tried to figure out how to get the words he wanted to say to come out right without setting her off again. "I...um...I'd like to do it for real some time...you know, have our normal dinner like normal people."

"Yeah," she beamed at him. "Me too."

"Is that what you meant when you brought up field experience?" he questioned, seizing the opening she'd given him.

"Not exactly. If you recall, you were the one who brought up field experience when we were on the Marvin's case," she reminded him with a pointed look.

"Yes, but you're the one who brought it up tonight," he countered.

She shook her head. Was he really that dense? "Why do you think I invited you into my room that night? Do you honestly believe it was just for coffee that late at night?"

Lee gaped at her open-mouthed, unable to think of a thing to say in response.

When he was still silent, she went on, "And furthermore, why do you think I went on and on and on about our room arrangements before we ever checked in? I thought we'd be sharing a room like we always do and that was...well, it was sort of my way of letting you know that I-" She took a bite of her burger, using the time to chew and swallow to compose her thoughts.

"Let me know what, Amanda," he pressed, having found his voice again.

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter because it became clear pretty quickly that we weren't on the same page as usual when you told me our cover was as brother and sister."

"Amanda, that was just-"

She held up one finger to silence him. "Don't you dare say it was just business or just part of the job because I know for a fact that it was you who came up with that cover, not Billy because I asked him about it." She gave him a stern, questioning look. "My question is, why'd you do it?"

The way he stared at her as if she had lost her mind caused her to rethink the direction of the conversation. _Had she basically just confessed that she would have been willing to share more than just a room with him when they were undercover? Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!_ Amanda's heart rate skyrocketed but not because of anything good. _Open mouth insert foot will you_? she thought taking a large bite of her _just okay_ hamburger while she stared determinedly at her plate.

This wasn't the time to have that conversation, but now that she had actually given words to something that she had thought about, she was both mortified and curious. She had wondered at the time if it was to keep from having to give her the "just two people doing their jobs" speech, but something about that seemed off, and then when he had trotted the speech back out after the Sacker case, it was apparent it wasn't gone for good. But that time, she had started a conversation with, "Lee, about last night..." before he said anything, making her wonder even more.

She had cared for Lee for a long time, but recently had taken giant steps to put herself out there. From almost sharing her feelings in the woods, to inviting him in for _coffee_ , to asking questions that involved emotional situations, signals to him that she was waiting. But now that she had blatantly asked, would he answer, or would he give her one of those half-answers and expect her to give him an out? The most recent of those when he'd wanted to tell her he'd missed her, but couldn't bring himself to say the words, instead burying the sentiment among a flowery speech. Would this time be any different?

Amanda wiped her face, tucked her napkin under the side of the plate and pushed it away before chancing a look Lee's direction. He had his head down, studying the remains of his dinner as if the crumbs were the Holy Grail and he was searching for an answer. You're not going to find it there, she wanted to tell him, before quickly lowering her head once more. While this hotel might not be the place for them to take the next step, it was a place where they were alone and presumably would stay that way for the rest of the night.

 _Why'd he do it_? A part of Lee felt like he had stepped into a scene from a Twilight Zone episode, as not only had he not expected her to question their cover for that case, much less ask Billy, but then to call him on it; that was a first. But could he tell her the truth...the whole truth?

He swallowed hard but needed a large drink of water before he could convince himself that what he had eaten wasn't still lodged in his throat preventing him from saying what he needed to say. He chanced a glance her direction and when he noticed she had taken an active interest in eating her hamburger, wondered if she was regretting her question or anything else she had admitted. _Or is this her way of protecting herself from your answers...or non-answers?_

 _"_ Amanda?" He tipped her chin up so he could try to read in her expressive eyes what she might not be willing to utter with her lips. _Except she's not had any issues with being frank, now has she_? raced through his mind. "Do you really want to know?" When she nodded her head and her dark eyes dug into his soul, he allowed the answer to be pulled from deep inside, "Joe."

Amanda blinked at the unexpected syllable. "Joe what?"

"Joe showed up and you disappeared."

"What are you talking about?" she spluttered. "I was there the whole time."

"Not that kind of disappeared. I mean…" Lee paused and gathered his thoughts. "We'd been partners for two years now, right?"

"Now he admits it," Amanda muttered, unable to stop the tiny smile that flitted across her lips.

"For two years," he repeated with an answering smile, before continuing seriously. "And I thought that after all that time, I knew you pretty well. You're not like me – you're an open book when it comes to telling me how you feel. And we'd had a dozen cases that involved people from my past, good and bad, and that's natural in this business." He stopped and waited for her to nod. "But it meant you saw a lot about me that maybe I would rather you didn't know – that I'd rather no one had known, right? And that was fine until it was _your_ past, oh no, then it was like these walls went up – you wouldn't talk about Joe except in platitudes, you wouldn't tell me about your marriage-"

"Well, it didn't have anything to do with the case!" she objected.

"No, it didn't, and I was just being nosy…" Lee sighed and drummed his fingers lightly on the table. "But up until then, you'd always shared everything with me, all the little details about what the boys were doing that day or the errands you had to run or what Debbie Ann did when you were kids-"

"All the annoying boring stuff, you mean," she couldn't stop herself from interrupting.

"Some of it, yeah," he teased. "But don't you see? All of a sudden, when it was something emotional, you shut me out and it was like I didn't know you at all. When the roles were reversed, Amanda disappeared and turned into this stranger who didn't trust me. Suddenly, I was just the agent who was after your husband."

Amanda sat back in her chair as if she'd been struck. "Oh Lee," she breathed out. "I'm so sorry. I never thought… well, that's awful."

"Tell me about it," he said wryly. "All this time, when we've been teasing each other and flirting, it's the first time I've done it in that order you know? Friends first and then, maybe…"

"It was never about you," Amana blurted out.

Lee lifted an eyebrow, unsure he wanted to know what she meant.

"It's habit, you see. I never say anything about Joe that I wouldn't say to the boys. Because it might be a passing moment of frustration for me but someone else would remember it and think badly about him, and he really isn't the bad guy. So, when you asked, it was just like when anyone asked…

I didn't want-"

"But I'm not- "

"Just anyone," she finished. "No, you're not." She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "You're the person I trust most in the world."

"Thank you," he answered, slowly. "And now I understand better, but that was why I chose the brother-sister cover. It was like there'd been a kind of reset to where we were headed, and it seemed like a good idea to step back."

"But you still flirted with me that night," she pressed.

"Well, I said I wanted to step back, I didn't say I was dead!" He grinned, as Amanda's relieved laugh bubbled out of her. "And I know you won't believe this coming from me, but I think we should slow down and talk more."

Amanda nodded. "You're right. We have a lot to talk about. So how about we start with the stupidity of that cover." Her lips quirked as she tried to suppress a teasing smile.

"Stupidity? Amanda, come on, I was trying to do what was right. With Joe back in the picture, I wasn't really sure where I stood with you, especially since you were so tight-lipped about it."

Amanda laughed and then quickly apologized, "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't laugh because you're trying to be serious, but Lee, really, it was rather dumb." Off his arched eyebrow, she clarified, "Okay, maybe 'dumb' or 'stupid' is the wrong word here. Maybe 'silly' is better."

"You think that's better?"

"Oh, come on, Lee, don't you think it was a bit of a silly idea of have us playing a brother-sister cover when we've been seeing each other outside of work for a while now? Even when we weren't, so many people that we encountered thought we were a real couple. Yuri Valov, for example. Also, we easily fooled Mrs. Craddock into thinking we actually were newlyweds and then there was the wedding cruise thing. We got through that wedding with everyone around us believing it was for real. Even my mother thinks I have 'someone at work' when she's never even met you and it's for sure when we were on that Marvin's assignment, that we weren't fooling Francine. Why do you think she kept hovering in the hallway?"

"To be her usual annoying self," Lee grumbled.

Amanda shook her head. "That's not a very nice thing to say about your friend," she lightly scolded. "Maybe it's just a female thing...you know, something only a woman would notice, but she was clearly lingering in the hall, because I think she knew what was going on between us that night."

"How could she when I didn't even know until you told me just a few minutes ago what your plan was then?"

"Like I said, I think it's something only a woman would pick up on, sort of an intuition thing."

Lee let out a sigh. "Intuition again, huh?"

"Yes," she insisted. "No offense, but men can be rather dense when it comes to relationships and it's not just you. Joe was equally dense when we were married." Her expression turned more somber, her eyes reflecting just a hint of sadness in them. "If you really want to know what happened, I was the one who asked for the divorce because Joe just didn't get that I needed more than just a part-time husband. I tried so hard to be patient with him and support his need to 'save the world,' but after a while, I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep putting my own needs on hold in favor of his."

"Sounds like he was a selfish asshole to me," Lee stated baldy.

"No, that's not what I mean. He wasn't selfish exactly, just...driven, like you and as I said, I tried to be patient with him, just like I've tried to be patient with you these last couple of years...to wait until you were ready to admit that what you really needed was something different. But, here's the thing that neither you or Joe understood. I have needs of my own."

"Needs?" His eyes lit up with a mirthful expression and his voice dropped into a lower register as he reached for her hand across the table and began slowly running his thumb over the back of her hand. "What kind of _needs_?"

"Well," she leaned closer and trailed one finger down his lean cheek, "there are many...many different kinds of needs...you know?"

"Oh?" Lee's voice dropped even lower, "I'm listening."

His eyes had turned an even darker color of green and bore into hers as if he were trying to dig out all her secrets. Amanda dropped her gaze to where his thumb was rhythmically moving back and forth on her skin causing her pulse to skitter throughout her veins. She lifted her eyes back to his and the way he was looking at her caused her tongue to feel like it was stuck to the roof of her mouth. _Could she follow through_ , she wondered, the possibility that she might somehow get in over her head flitting through her mind. But then just as quickly, she was reminded of the potent feeling that Lee's reaction to her more extroverted flirting had given her, and she decided she didn't care. He was here and so was she and oh, boy...I am woman, hear me roar spurred her on.

"Amanda?" he whispered, "do you have needs?"

She quickly took a drink, her parched throat relaxing as the cool liquid drenched the dry tissues and smiled teasingly, "Of course, Lee. Don't you?"

A slow grin spread over his face and his eyes sparkled with something she couldn't quite put her finger on. "I think you know the answer to that question, but," he leaned a little closer, "it's your needs I'm interested in."

Her smile grew, "Hmm, you know I have a need for," but before she could finish her statement there were three quick knocks on the door, causing her to jump.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"It's okay," Lee assured her, moving quickly to the door, and after checking to see it was whom he had expected, opened it to allow the waiter to remove the dirty dishes.

While the waiter was cleaning the table, Amanda wandered to the window to look out at the gardens. The landscape spread before her added to the surreal feeling that had taken hold of them over the last couple of hours. There was the very real fact that she was in danger, but then there had been periods of time when they had been cocooned in a sensual bubble that sent thrills up and down her spine. With the sun just beginning to lower in the sky, the long night ahead stretched out before them and it was if the scenery before her was beckoning for them to take a moonlight stroll. _If only_ , she sighed hearing the door shut and Lee's quiet footfalls as he crossed the room toward her.

She wasn't prepared when his warm hands landed on her shoulders and his firm jaw pressed against the side of her head, "Amanda?" His hot breath blew across her ear sending a shiver down her spine, "Where were we?"

Lee cursed the poor timing of the waiter, and just when the conversation had turned really interesting too. While he was cursing the waiter, he was also cursing his insecurities regarding Amanda and how he wished he would have had the courage to explain to her how he felt about Joe's return before he had pitched the idea of brother and sister. Talk about poor timing.

Amanda turned in his arms, "Lee, I need," her eyes met his before traveling to his mouth.

It was past time and all he had to do was lean just a little closer and touch his lips to hers. He shut his eyes as the distance between their mouths narrowed, halting only when he felt her body tense ever so slightly. He shifted his momentum to bring his forehead down to rest against hers. "We're rushing again, aren't we?" he murmured.

"Yeah." Amanda sighed and slid her arms around his waist. "Lee, it's not that I don't want this, because I do, you must know I do – but I need to know what you want."

"Need to know, huh?" he teased.

Amanda leaned back in his arms to look up with a smile, acknowledging the joke she'd accidentally made, then tipped up on her toes to press her lips against his cheek; not the kiss he'd been hoping for but reassuring nonetheless since she hadn't pulled away.

Putting all thoughts of a moonlit walk aside, Amanda smiled slightly as she ran her thumb over the spot to remove the faint trace of lipstick she'd left. "We do this-" she motioned back and forth between them "all the time. We flirt and we go on dates that aren't dates and I just admitted I wanted to spend the night with you that night at the conference and I'm not saying I would have regretted that-"

"But you would have."

"No, I wouldn't but I was doing what you do – trying to skip ahead and get to the ending, but we can't just skip all the conversation we should have before that. C'mon," she stepped back, just far enough to tug him over to the couch. She sank down onto it, pulling him down to sit beside her. "For the past few hours we've been talking about why we do this, and it keeps circling back to the people we do it for and that's the reason I need us to slow down. I can't go into a relationship with you that's more than we have now, if what you're looking for is what you've had with the other women you've dated. I'm not those girls – I have other people I need to think about."

"I know that," he objected. "I know how important your family is to you!"

"Better than anyone," she agreed. "And I can lie to them about my job, but I won't lie to them about what we have together, so if you truly become part of that side of my life, you become part of the boys' lives and I don't know if you really understand what that means."

"Are you saying you don't want me to be?" he asked, the hurt showing on his face.

"Of course, I'm not saying that!" she replied immediately. "I can't think of a better man to bring home to meet them, but once you do that, there's no turning back and what I need…no, what _you_ need is to understand that before we go any further."

Lee studied her carefully. "You think I can be the guy you bring home to your mother?"

"I know you can," Amanda reassured him. "But I need to know that you _want_ to."

Lee sat back and considered that for a moment. "Amanda… you know better than anyone that I don't have anything to measure against as far as family goes. I've been an outsider my whole life, and I know that when you met me I looked like a bit of a playboy but to be honest, I haven't been around as much as my reputation suggests."

"Sure," she replied with an eye-roll in a disbelieving tone.

He took her hands in his and let out a melancholy sigh. "Look, I'm not going to deny that I have a past and I've been with more women than I probably should have…" He paused and shuddered slightly at the thought of some of them that he truly regretted. "But it's not as many as most people seem to think."

"Then what about the four black books?" she questioned dubiously. "That seems like an awful lot of women to me."

"You do know that I didn't really date all those women, right? I'm a spy; I've traveled all over the world under a hundred or more different aliases in the last thirteen years. That means a lot of people and yes, a lot of them were women and a lot of those women gave me their numbers without me asking for them. You know about my civilian family, right?"

"Right," she nodded.

"Well, I created those books and the codes in them to keep them all straight in case I ever needed them for the future. I admit that I've dated a lot and I did date a few of them, but mostly, I was just trying to keep track in my own mind which women I told which lies to in case I were ever in the same location again and might need their help. I never took their numbers with the intention of dating each and every one of them, some I did date, some of them I just used for a cover when I needed someone to go to an event with me for the job, like when I invited you to the Quickie Chickie thing."

"Oho!" She pulled back from him, looking affronted. "So, you were just using me then?"

"I-" He stood up and began pacing in frustration. "No! That's-" He flung himself into the armchair to give himself a bit of distance from her while he tried to dig himself out of the current hole he was in. "I never meant to suggest that I was using you. It's just that I knew even then that even though I cared about you, I…well, I shouldn't be involved with you on a more personal level until I could get my head on straight. I needed to really deal with a lot of stuff from my past. As for the party...well, I knew already by then how loyal, dependable and enthusiastic you were about the job and I needed someone to go to that party with. It looks less suspicious when I'm on the job if I arrive with a date rather than a single guy alone. But really, the point I was trying to make is that that's all many of those women were to me and some of them weren't even that, they were women I met exactly one time and never saw again."

"Are you putting me on?"

"No, Amanda, not at all. I know I kept a lot of stuff about my past hidden because it was just too painful, but I-I want to change that. I really want to share more things with you like I did when I shared all that stuff with you about Dorothy. It means more to me than you know that you were there for me when I was going through all that." He flashed a dimpled smile at her.

Amanda couldn't help smiling back at him and replied quietly, "If you need someone to help you slay more rose dragons, you know I'm available, right?"

"I know that." He gave her a lop-sided grin, "That means a lot to me." Instead of continuing along that topic, he backtracked to their earlier conversation, "Amanda, what I was trying to say earlier was...you know you're not like those other women, right?"

Her brows rose, a slight frown appearing between them, "Oh?"

That single syllable said so many things, frustrating Lee even more at his inability to say what he really wanted to say, "What I meant was," his voice lowered a few tones, "that you _are_ different, Amanda King. You make me want..."

"Oh?" she responded again, this time though a little smile played along her lips.

He could feel the tips of his ears turning red at his inadvertent innuendo, "No, I mean...I do but...you make me want more." His stuttering upped his frustration level, causing him to push up from the chair and stalk to the cabinet in the corner. When he found an album that exemplified the emotions coursing through his system, he set it on the record player and the smooth music of Nat King Cole filled the room.

"Amanda," he stopped in front of the sofa, holding out his hand, his dimples beckoning, "I find you _Unforgettable._ Dance with me?"

She rolled her eyes at his cheesy comment, but silently slid her hand into his, allowing him to pull her close. Lee rested his chin lightly against the side of her head, giving himself permission for them just to _be_ for a few seconds while what he wanted to say coalesced in his mind, _You make me want...so many things,_ floated through his head but the words on the tip of his tongue were different. Before he could second guess them, he leaned back just enough so he could look into her dark eyes. "Amanda," he whispered as they continued to move to the music, "We want the same things."

"We do?"

He nodded his head slightly, wanting her to see the truth in his eyes and after a few seconds, she relaxed her body against his. Feeling as if their relationship had crossed into a new level, Lee let go of the breath he had been holding and tightened his arms around her.

As one song blended into another and the music wove a spell around them, Amanda melted into Lee even more. The sensual spell that had been present all evening hadn't dissipated, but their conversation gave her hope, and, in his arms, she was safe. The feeling carried them through several songs until the opening strains of a new one brought back a memory of long ago. "My parents loved this song," she whispered, hesitant to break the spell.

" _The Very Thought of You_?" He smiled down at her, "Tell me."

Her fingers automatically sifted through the fine strands of hair at the base of his neck as she talked, "I was maybe eight, and caught my parents dancing one evening. It was to this song."

Lee's laughter was low, the gentle rumble from his chest sending tingles throughout. "Had you caught them before?"

Amanda laughed, "Oh sure." She shook her head as the memory washed over her, "At least once a week. My mother loves music...all kinds of music."

"She's a smart woman." He twirled her around the room, making her dizzy, but whether the feeling was from the movement or just being in his arms, she didn't know.

"She is," Amanda agreed. "She always told me to never underestimate the power of the music's message."

Lee didn't say anything for several seconds, but their movements slowed as the song ended and a new one started. "I agree," he whispered for her ears only. "Why do you think I chose _this_ album?"

The melody sent shivers down her spine as she realized that Nat King Cole wasn't singing just any love song, but _When I Fall in Love_ was playing just for them.

 _Oh my gosh._ Amanda kept her head resolutely against his shoulder so that he wouldn't see the tears he'd brought to her eyes. Worried that those would spoil the fragile moment, she contented herself instead with squeezing his hand gently and let him gather her closer. _If this was any other time…_

They remained in a cocoon of silence as the song played on, letting the last few notes fade away and the next began, a jazzy rendition of "Straighten Up and Fly Right" that gave them no reason to continue their dance. As they stepped apart unwillingly, Amanda left her hands on Lee's shoulders, looking up at him and meeting his fond smile with one of her own.

Lee said nothing, never letting his eyes leave hers as he moved a hand from her waist up to cover hers where it still rested and lifting it so that he could kiss the inside of her wrist.

"Lee," she sighed. "You said-"

"No rushing," he murmured. "And I meant it." He stepped back and drew her hands into his. "This isn't the time or place, is it? Locked up and on edge? Worried about your mother and the boys, wondering when the next interruption will come."

She nodded, biting her lip slightly, relieved that he understood.

"Someday, we will find the right time…" he lifted her hand and kissed the back of her fingers, "and the right place…" he repeated the action with her other hand "but for now…"

"We're stuck with this," she finished his sentence.

"I am never stuck anywhere when I'm with you," he chided with a teasing glint in his eye. "But yes, for tonight anyway, when I keep my eyes on you, it's going to have to be professionally."

There was a long beat as they gazed at each other. The record had finished, and the arm was returning to its cradle automatically. Amanda was the first to break away, stepping back and smoothing her hands over her skirt. She walked to the couch and sat down again, perched on the edge of the cushion, suddenly nervous again.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" she asked, gesturing to the TV.

"It might be better not to," he said apologetically. "It might mask any sounds we should be listening out for."

"Right," Amanda nodded. "So…" She looked around, her eye lighting on the pile of magazines Lee had pointed out earlier. "Do you want the 1973 issue of _Today's Collectibles_ or the 1975 copy of _Der Spiegel_ or maybe…Oh! A recent one! Last month's issue of _Weight Loss Weekly_? Honestly, who stayed here last?"

Lee's grin lit up with laughter. "Well, how's your German?"

"Non-existent," she said immediately, beaming back. "I told you that."

"Oh, that's right. Nothing but Edelweiss, right?" His voice was both warm and teasing. "So, I guess I win _Der Spiegel_ then." He took it from her outstretched hand and moved to the armchair closest to her.

Amanda gave him a questioning look as he sank down into the chair with a weary sigh.

As if sensing her eyes on him, he raised his eyebrows back at her. "What?"

"Nothing," she shook her head and feigned interest in a decade-old magazine as if she truly cared about its contents.

"A-man-da," he huffed. He hated when she did that, gave him that look that was half-question, half-scolding as if he were one of her children, but then wouldn't tell him what it was all about.

"What?" she snapped back as she looked up at him. She always knew he was irritated or frustrated by her when he broke down her name into all three syllables.

"I don't understand you," he replied in a calmer tone. "I thought we were having a nice time and now you act like you're pissed at me again."

"Well, I am. Or- I don't know - maybe 'pissed' is the wrong word, more like annoyed," she retorted sharply as she slammed the magazine down onto her lap and glowered at him.

"Annoyed? By what?"

"I'm annoyed by the fact that you always do this. Every time I think we're getting closer...like just now...you know, with the dancing and the sharing...and...and...and the talking... Every time we have something like that, you do this!" She gestured wide-armed to the chair he was sitting in.

"What? Sit down?" His face showed a look of thorough befuddlement as he gaped at her.

"You know very well what I'm talking about - the way you distance yourself every time we start to get too close for your comfort."

"B-b-but-" he sputtered as he tried to figure out just what he'd done wrong now. He ran a hand through his hair before looking back at her and questioned, "But didn't we just talk about this, you know, taking things slow? Aren't we supposed to be trying to cool things down and bit."

"Slow, yes, but not glacier-slow and cooling down is good, but not glacier-cold either."

"I didn't think I was being cold just by sitting down," he explained in his own defense. "If it's because I sat over here-"

"That's exactly what it is," she interrupted. "You did that earlier when we had that little tiff about your black book girls."

"Ohhhh..." he crooned softly as the realization hit him. "I didn't sit here to distance myself, or at least not in the way you think. I mean, I did want to put a little physical distance between us, but not because I don't want to be close to you. I just..." He let out a deep sigh and tried to figure out how to word things without digging himself in deeper. "I just thought I was giving you the space you wanted, especially after-" He broke off abruptly and turned his attention to the periodical in his hand and began flipping pages to occupy his mind with anything he could other than that fact that she'd pretty much confessed tonight that she wanted to sleep with him.

"Oh, no you don't, Mister! You're not going to shut me out again. After what?" she probed insistently.

Lee took a deep breath and set the magazine aside, "Amanda," he leaned forward capturing her hands. "Do you remember what I said when we were dancing?"

Her shy smile and the slight tint that covered her cheeks were very much in opposition to her pointed questions she had thrown at him all evening, "Yes," she answered quietly before dropping her eyes to their joined hands. "But-"

"And do you remember what almost happened each time we were close?" he continued, interrupting her interjection. "And how my body reacted to your nearness? How we almost..."

A little spark flared to life in her eyes at the answers that would fill in that blank. She nodded her head, her silence telling him she had been just as affected as he.

Swallowing hard he worked to maintain his focus on what was best for her...for right now at least. "And every time we almost stepped across that line, do you have any idea how hard it was not to kiss your lips, not to pick you up and carry you into the bedroom and love you," his voice dropped to a whisper, "not to lose myself in your loving arms?"

He touched his lips to their joined hands almost reverently, "I'm not shutting you out. I promise," he added, seeing a quick flash of skepticism cross her face. "Our talk has been-"

"Awful?" she teased.

"Enlightening," he grinned finishing the sentence with a word that just fit. Their talk _had_ been enlightening as not only had they learned some things about each other, but he had learned a few things about himself. "I promised to give you space, Amanda, and as long as we are," he nodded at the room and smirked, "'stuck with this,' everything else must wait."

She opened her mouth to say something but almost afraid she could sway his decision, he laid a finger over her lips, "I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you."

His husky admission brought tears to her eyes, " _Nothing_ is going to happen to me," she assured him. "Not with the great Scarecrow watching my tail."

Lee's smile was tender, his dimples just barely showing, "Which is why I'm over here," he explained. "Because when I'm next to you, especially now," he added, "it's difficult to keep Lee separate from Scarecrow." His voice trailed off and helpless to stop he gently kissed her cheek, barely missing her lips. "Okay?"

She hesitated, her eyes locked with his, "Thank you," she whispered before letting go of his hands and picking up her magazine to resume flipping through the pages.

Lee did the same, but he couldn't seem to focus on any one page for too long without his eyes drifting back to her. She was something, his Amanda, and such a dichotomy that lately he always felt one step behind. She challenged him in ways he had never imagined. When she glanced his direction, he found he felt embarrassed, quickly ducking his head and unconsciously running his hand through his hair. She made him feel like a schoolboy, which was both exhilarating and terrifying and something he hadn't felt in...forever.

But keeping his eyes on what he was reading didn't last long, as the pull of her was too strong. Now that he had re-donned his professional hat, he could see the fatigue caused by the stress of the day etched on her face.

When they had initially sat down, Amanda kept running their conversation over and over in her mind, but the quieter the room, the more the real reason they were here kept crowding in. She flipped the pages of her magazine, but whether it was the first time or the fifth, she still couldn't make much sense of what she was reading. Her mind was on her family and how much longer she would be here. Feeling the frustration bubble up inside, she took a shaky breath.

"Uh, Amanda, it's getting late." Lee's voice wrapped around her, settling her nerves, "Why don't you take a rest and I'll go in the other room.

She knew there was no way she wanted to be in that other room alone...and in the dark, "Well, I'm not that tired," she confessed, "and I'm probably too nervous to sleep." _unless your._..but she refused to allow those thoughts to formulate completely.

Something came and went in his eyes causing her heart to do a little flip, "Okay, I can stay." he blurted sending her a grin that made her breath catch.

A slow smile spread across her face, "That would be nice." she admitted softly.

The current between them sparked to life once again, a little brighter than before as her eyes locked with his. She knew she needed to look away, but she found she couldn't, only able to tear her eyes away when there was a knock at the door.

She held her breath as Lee slipped off the chain and opened the door, curious who it was so late in the evening. When Francine stepped inside, and it became obvious she was staying, Amanda couldn't stop the quick wave of regret that shot through her. She liked, and trusted Francine, but Lee...he made her feel safe.

As he questioned Francine, almost as if he didn't trust what she was saying, Amanda found she had to fight not to react. There was a part of her that wanted to throw herself into his arms and beg him to take her with him, but unable to do that she was left to wait…and trust someone else.

He laid the magazine on the table, his eyes conveying more than he could say, "Well, I guess I'd better go." were the words he uttered, but _I don't want to go_ were the unspoken ones meant just for her

Amanda smiled, hoping he could read her message meant for him just as easily, _I know. I'll be okay_ , but unable to trust her voice she answered quietly, "Yeah."

She could tell he understood how she was feeling in his hesitancy opening the door, "I'll see you later." he promised. She was sure his words were meant to assure her as they had been spoken carefully, but it was his smile that stayed with her after he was gone.

As soon as the door closed behind him, she was overwhelmed with a sense of loss that she was unable to explain. Did it have something to do with the fact that, with this case, she was the hunted and not the hunter? She had been involved in more dangerous situations than she could count, but Lee had always been by her side. He was the one she trusted. He kept her safe. He was the one she could lean on, yet now...

Francine sat down in the chair Lee had just vacated and as the room was filled with an awkward silence, Amanda couldn't help but compare the differences in the feel of the quiet to her time with Lee. From the revelations brought about by their talks to the music playing when they danced, each moment was indelibly engraved on her mind. "Do you want to play hearts?" Francine interrupted her musings. With a forlorn sigh, Amanda tucked her memories away to be reviewed later and made her way to the table.

 _~fin_

 _Thnaks for reading. We hope you enjoyed the workings of our collective muses._


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